A Tiger and A Saint


Recently, the personalities of two of South Louisiana’s most beloved Football Teams ran into each other at a local watering hole. This fall they both have one goal, winning. But it means different things for the both of them. We’ll watch them and witness their antics every Thursday. And so it begins…

*A Young Tiger Cub walks into a bar, he sees a man in a white black and gold Suit sitting on a stool enjoying himself. He sits next to him and says…

Tiger: Hey don’t I know you?

Saint: Huh?

Tiger: You look familiar. Have I seen you before?

Saint: Maybe, I’ve been on T.V. a lot lately.

Tiger: Yeah, Yeah, I knew I’d seen you! You won something right?

*The Saint points to a trophy sitting behind the bar that looks like a Silver Football atop a platinum golf tee*

Tiger: I knew that was you! Congrats man! What are you doing here?

Saint: Celebrating my victory of course.

Tiger: Still? Wasn’t that some time ago?

Saint: Dude, I’ll never stop celebrating. I won. I never win. But I did. It happened. I still kinda don’t believe it. So I’m here and so are they.

*The Saint looks over his shoulder to a crowd of people second lining outside of the bar.*

Tiger: Oh yeah, I saw them on the way in here. You know I’ve won too?

Saint: Have you now?

Tiger: Yup. Three times. Twice in the last ten years.

Saint: Impressive. Wait, I think I know you too.

Tiger: Do you? You mean you’ve heard of me?

Saint: You go to work the day before me right?

Tiger: Yeah, that’s me!

Saint: Well, glad as hell to finally meet you. Hold on, aren’t you kinda young to be in here?

Tiger: (whispering) Don’t say anything man. I got these big paws so they let me in.

Saint: Listen, we really can’t have any youngsters in he-

Tiger: Dude, just this once let me hang out. I’m really stressed out right now.

Saint: I guess I won’t rat you out this time. (To the bartender) Hey Robicheux, let’s do this again; this time put some actual Bourbon in it okay?

Robicheux: That’s your 40th one. You ain’t finished drinkin’ yet?

Saint: You obviously don’t know where I’m from.

Tiger: I’ll have a scotch and soda.

Saint: Umm, just the soda on that one Robicheux. *Looks at the young Tiger*

Tiger: Yeah, just the soda I guess.

Saint: Anyway, what you got to be nervous about?

Tiger: It’s almost time to go back to work. It’s really important that I do a good job in the next couple months.

Saint: Ah man, don’t sweat it. Just go out there and just have fun. I’m sure everyone will appreciate that.

Tiger: You obviously don’t know where I’m from.

Saint: Maybe not. But hell, what else can you do? Just do your best.

Tiger: I guess. You’re not worried though? Isn’t almost time for you to go back too?

Saint: Yeah it is, and no. I’m not worried.

Tiger: Why not?

Saint: Well kid, I did such a good job last year that I’m not so sure if I have to even be competent this time around. I mean, I want to be and I probably will be, but there is absolutely no pressure on me whatsoever. It’s pretty liberating.

Tiger: Wow, that must be nice. Hey, what was it like when you won?

Saint: What do you mean?

Tiger: Like when I won, both times I won, there were all these people saying that it wasn’t for real, that I was no good. One time I even had to share it. It was almost like no one wanted to see me win it. Did you go through that?

Saint: Ummm, hell no. Most everybody wanted me succeed it seems like. I get the feeling that it’s not like that now, but it was that way then.

Tiger: Oh.

Saint: You say they made you share one of them?

Tiger: Yeah. I won one part of it and somebody one another part.

Saint: You mean you tied?

Tiger: No. No ties. What are you talking about?

Saint: Well if you didn’t tie, how can two win at once?

Tiger: At my job we don’t have that last part that you guys do. We work all year then a computer decides who did the best. Then they give out the trophy.

Saint: That’s the stupidest God Damned thing I’ve ever heard of.

Tiger: It’s the best way we got. Why do you think everyone was on your side last year?

Saint: Five years ago this stupid bitch named Katrina went crazy and nearly destroyed my entire neighborhood. I had to move around a lot after that for a while. She really did a number on the whole place, bro. Well when I got back and started to make some moves it was like everyone wanted to see me get mine for a change. I think they knew it would be good for my neighbors that I won, even the ones who are still not over Katrina.

Tiger: Dude, I totally know that chick.

Saint: You do, do you?

Tiger: Yeah, she came through my neighborhood too, but I guess she was tired from what she did to you. She just tore down some signs where I live. We still had to work in a couple of different places because of her though.

Tiger/Saint (in unison): Stupid Bitch.

Tiger: Anyway, I need to get back, I got practice soon.

Saint: Yeah, well you take it easy bro. Don’t be a stranger either. Come back and tell me how things are going for you okay?

Tiger: I’ll try man.

*The young Tiger turns and leaves. The Saint looks at his trophy again and says…

Saint: Robicheux, gimme another one.