LSU Beats West Virginia 20-14 And I’m Effing Pissed About It

This was supposed to be posted after the game, but I couldn’t bring myself to write at that point…

Bottom line, I’m sick of this. I know this is a sports blog. I know I’m supposed to give certain even keeled assessment of the goings on of LSU Football and my small, minute opinions on them.

After last night, I’m not sure I can do that anymore.

Couple of real quick facts first. LSU won. LSU is 4-0. The defense is amazing, special teams too. Patrick Peterson is an alien from the planet Freak-Studopolous. WVU had no answer for The Tiger defense because they’re too big, too fast, and too disciplined. They never really threatened LSU because simply could not maintain drives.

Now to the fun part…

Offensively, this might be the worse football team I’ve ever seen and that’s not hyperbole. They find a way to regress every game. At this point, Jordan Jefferson’s confidence is completely shot. He has no touch on his short passes, no accuracy on his long ones, and I swear he’s going to get a receiver killed on the screens, which all seem as if he’s throwing them to Shaquille O’Neal. I have never been one to choose between Jefferson and Lee, because I generally think it’s best to nurture the guy that’s in there. But at this point, after three games with UNDER 100 YARDS PASSING, I don’t see how you don’t try something else.

Last night was the first time I have ever thought that a head coach was actively fu@cking with the fans during a game. There was a point in the disjointed contest where Jefferson was something like 2 for his last 9 with a couple of picks, and the LSU coaching staff REFUSED to run the football. Even the ESPN2 announcing crew was saying that they didn’t get why we were still throwing it with Jefferson when Stevan Ridley was eating up The Mountaineer defense. I’m not going to blame Jefferson’s ineffectiveness or receivers dropping passes on coaching, but I will say that this staff sure does know how to make a bad situation worse. LSU passes on 1st and 10, runs on second and 12 (after the sack) and then throws 5 yard passes on 3rd and 7. If you watched the game last night, you cannot tell me that’s not how it went. I was sitting next to my girl, watching the game play out, and I was calling LSU’s offensive plays with savant like accuracy. She said “are you supposed to be able to do that?” I think we all know the answer.

I watched the Alabama/Arkansas fiasco earlier in the day, and besides kicking off the Ryan Mallet meltdown tour, the game was notable to me for another reason. I saw Alabama be multiple. I saw a team with a QB that hasn’t lost a game since the 8th grade, take the ball out of his hands from time to time. I saw the wildcat, I saw an intense screen package. You don’t think the Crimson Tide realize that they can’t win games on McElroy’s arm? Or course they know that. So they use short sets and different formations to get the ball to the guys who CAN win games for them. This is why Julio Jones didn’t turn into a Heisman guy. He doesn’t have the QB needed to deliver the ball to him in that way. You see a steady diet of Ingram and Richardson with them, injected into defenses in multiple ways so that they can’t key on tendencies.

With LSU you see zero Wildcat game, throwing the ball deep to Shep like he’s Randy Moss and not Percy Harvin, and worst of all, the option game. The option game makes want to murder happy infants. I mean the babies of millionaires who have it all and are really loving the baby life. LSU’s option game puts them in danger from me. Coach Miles, Coach Crowton, Coach Jesus, PLEASE PUT THE OPTION GAME AWAY. It’s. A. Drive. Killing. Soul. Destroying. Annoyance. Hitler is more likable in Jerusalem than LSU’s option package is in Baton Rouge. It’s boring to watch – actually that’s not true. It’s not boring, it’s hilarious. It’s the funnniest thing ever. I started to wonder last night if LSU kept running it so Jefferson could get his ass knocked off, thus prompting a switch. I know that’s fiction, but I have ask, why do the Tigers run it? It’s not effective at all, It’s not explosive at all. We have a tentative quarterback who hesitates to throw the ball in one on one coverage to 6-4 athletes, what in the sam hell makes the staff think he’d be decisive when it’s time to take a shot from a linebacker? JUST STOP IT. I’m going to cry. I have to go. We won the game. LSU is 4-0. Tiger fans be happy, but please don’t be impressed.